I was listening to Radio Lab on NPR this morning. The theme was Lost and Found and the concept of dead reckoning came up.
Dead reckoning (DR) is the process of estimating one's current position based upon a previously determined position, or fix, and advancing that position based upon known or estimated speeds over elapsed time, and course.
A disadvantage of dead reckoning is that since new positions are calculated solely from previous positions, the errors of the process are cumulative, so the error in the position grows with time.
I am twisted up in knots for Layla today. In response to her tantrum last night, I painted myself into a corner, threatening not to take her on a family trip this weekend. I said it, I explained it and gave her one more chance to pull it together this week. My rules are not crazy, "No hitting." "No Spitting." "No Yelling at your parents." She promised she will pull it together. I put the odds at 50/50 and am pulling for her. Please, dear readers, send her strength and wisdom, and will her not to test me. I will be so sad if half the family stays home.
I wish I had never even told her about the trip. I wish kindergarten was over for her. I wish she wasn't so worried about a talent show and a little boy who broke his leg. I wish I had given her a spoon of peanut butter before she decided to hit her sister last night. I wish I didn't even see her sister get hit. I wish there were so many things that were different for her but I have to calculate my course from the fixed point we are in.
As flawed as it is, dead reckoning is the best navigation system any parent has. I just hope my errors don't grow with time, we can reset and chart a new course together this summer.
I think I'm finally ready to call this painting "done". It is my own dead reckoning malfunction. I started with an idea and kept charting that course when I was wrong from the beginning. I think I saved it enough by contemplating two things my friends said.
1. Lovely Debbie suggested more sunshine. I was in a dark place.
2.Lovely Valerie always asks why people get "sideways" when they've got it wrong. I was painting left to right when everyone know grass (like little girls) grow "UP". I got it sideways from the beginning and needed to fix it.